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  With a click of a button, this Lori Dicarlo vibrator warms up to 104°F (40°C) (jusssst above body temp). This feature will encourage your giftee to get theirs even on the coldest day. Hot tip: If you’re willing to spend little extra dough on your gift, include some arousal oil in the package. The warmth of the toy helps keep the oil the perfect consistency. Best wand vibrator Hitachi Magic Wand Plus Price: $$ The Hitachi is to pleasure toys what Shakespeare is to literature: an effing classic. This microphone shaped machine entered the world in the 1960s as a back massager, got a little rebrand with the help of sex-positive feminists of the 70s (does the name Betty Dodson ring a bell?), and has since been rebranded as the Magic Wand. These days, the Magic Wand is still the most powerful vibrator on the market. It features only two intensity levels, but they’d best be described as Ultra Intense and Ultra-X Intense. In other words, it’s not for the faint of heart crotch. Best vibrator on a budget Sweet Vibes Charmed

  Price: $ The type of stimulation a vibrator provides is generally classified as either pinpointed or broad stimulation. As you might guess, pinpointed stimulators typically stimulate a very small surface area while broad stimulators massage a larger proportion of the erogenous zones. Every pleasure-seeker has to figure out for themselves which type of stimulation is best for them. Thanks to this wand vibrator, you don’t have to choose. In addition to sporting the broader microphone shape, this toy features a curved fin designed to apply super-pinpointed pleasure. Plus, it’s easy on your wallet. Best vibrator for pinpointed stimulation Zumio X Price: $$ Shaped like an electric toothbrush, this baby sports an easy-to-hold handle with a thin Spirotip that juts out the end. (The Spirotip does all the stimulating). No larger than a nose-stud or freckle, the itty bitty ball-shaped tip moves in micro-circles, like a finger.

  While Zumio currently has three different products (listed here in order of least to most intense): the Zumio S, Zumio X, and Zumio E, we recommend the Zumio X which is the oldest and most tried-tested-loved product from the manufacturer. Highest quality suction toy Womanizer Premium Price: $$$ Is your gift receiver *heart eyes* for a tongue tornado? Give ‘em the gift of swirl and suck with an oral sex stimulator, like the Womanizer Premium. This oral sex stimulator is ergonomically shaped to fit in your palm and it features a little nozzle that’s designed to cover those nerve-dense external stimulators. For an even more realistic experience, try pairing the toy with lube. Best discreet suction toy Biird Obii Price: $$

  The most discreet (and cutest) suction toy in the history of suction toys, the Obii is perfect for any pleasure-seeker who enjoys clitoral or nipple stimulation. Visually similar to a Pokemon character, this chickadee shaped toy is coated in body-safe silicone, and available in Easter-egg colors (mint, yellow, and pink). It also comes in a cute carrying and storage case. Best rabbit vibrator Calexotics Jack Rabbit Signature Heated Silicone Rabbit Price: $$$ If your bb is a “Sex and the City” fan, they’ll recognize this toy’s two-pronged shape from the infamous episode where Charlotte skimps on plans to use a very similar-looking vibrator. Known as a rabbit vibrator, the Jack Rabbit Signature Heated Silicone Rabbit features one vibrating arm for internal G-zone stimulation, and a second arm for external clitoral stimulation. (Blended orgasm, anyone?). True to its name, this seven-speed vibrator literally heats up. It features a unique heating element that reaches a soothing temperature in just four minutes. Fun! Best G-spot vibrator Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine Vibrator Price: $ Designed as a G-spot stimulator, this 12-intensity vibrator features 6 insertable inches and a curved tip for internal pressure.

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  The one con: The battery only lasts 30 minutes, so the odds of it dying before you “die” (er, la petite mort) are higher with this vibe than others. Best hands-free vibrator We-Vibe Moxie Price: $$ Long distance lovers need not look further than the We Vibe Moxie. About the size of a pendrive, this vibrator can latch into your fave boxers, boy shorts, and bikini-style brief via a magnet, making them buzz. Here’s why it’s so clutch for bicoastal babes: The Moxie can be controlled from afar with the help of the We Vibe App. Best rideable vibrator The Unicorn Sex Machine

  Price: $$$$ Hey moneybags, if your giftee L-O-V-E-S vibration and already has a hearty collection of toys, consider The Unicorn Sex Machine. A saddle-shape, The Unicorn Sex Machine is designed to be mounted until the rider moans. There are a wide variety of attachments for the machine, so whether you’re looking for external, anal, or vaginal stimulation, there’s an attachment perfect for you. Fair warning: This big boy is as loud as it is intense. Meaning, very. Best beginner anal sex toy Tango Plug Price: $ If you and your giftee have talked about traveling south, start with the Tango plug. One of the best beginner plugs on the market, this ultra-affordable plug is no thicker than your middle finger. Just remember: Lube is a nonnegotiable for butt play. So, you’ll also want to throw in a water-based lube like Cake Tush Cush. 1 Best intermediate anal sex toy

  nJoy Pure Plug Price: $$ Hot take: The Pure Plug is the most beautiful butt plug in the world. Crafted out of nonporous stainless steel, and expertly crafted to fit just right, the Pure Plug is a wonderful addition to any intermediate or advanced anal-sex haver’s toy collection. Pro tip: Pop it in the freezer 1 hour ahead of use. Run it along your partner’s body to tease them. Then, when the toy’s close to body temp, lather with lube and ease inside. 1 Best packer New York Sex Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 Silicone Stroker Price: $$ A one of a kind product, Jack is both a stroker *and* a packer. What does that mean exactly? Well, a packer is a phallic-shaped object designed to create the illusion of a biological penis underneath.

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  And a stroker is a toy designed to sheath and stimulate the external genitals. The most well-known strokers are made for people with penises (Fleshlight, Hot Octopus Pulse Duo, Tenga Egg), but there are strokers that can be used by people with clits (!). Jack is one of them. 1 Best pack-and-play Emisil Erect Penis ER01 Price: $$$$ HOLY REALISTIC is right! That’s because Emisil isn’t categorized as a sex toy company, but as a penis prosthesis producer. Known for making packers, pack-and-plays, and stand-to-pee (STP) packers that resemble biological penises in a w-i-d-e variety of skin colors and lengths, Emisil is the go-to shop-spot for FTMs and transmasculine folks on the hunt for super duper realistic sex and lifestyle aids. The ER01 is one of most popular pack-and-plays Emisil makes. One note: Products like this are super personal, so this is the kind of gift that should be reserved for someone who has explicitly indicated that they want one!

  1 Best stroker Fun Factory Manta Price: $$$ What looks like a sea creature but is designed to pleasure your (ahem) sea creature? The Fun Factory Manta. A penis-stroker made from the oh-so-velvety silicone Fun Factory is known for, The Manta is designed to be maneuvered up and down the length of a penis, delivering rumbly vibrations in the process. The point? Pleasure. Duh! This gift is an especially great option for a penis-owner with calloused hands. Just saying… 1 Best couples sex toy for queer couples Fun Factory ShareVibe Price: $$$ Yes, this is for your lover. But it’s also for you…

  Allow us to explain: This double-ended dildo is designed to provide internal stimulation to two people at once. Yep, you heard that right — it sets ya up for all kinds of strap-on sex. (Including pegging!). One of the arms is shorter and mirrors the natural curves of the vaginal canal, which helps it stay put. The other arm is longer and is designed to be thrust in and out of another person’s hole. While this toy can be used without a harness, a lengthy sex sesh can be tiring AF on the wearer’s pelvic floor muscles. So, consider using it with a harness for the most pleasurable (and least tiring!) rompathon. 1 Best couples toy Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Essential Price: $$ This body-safe, ABS plastic stroker is basically a hot dog bun for your… meat. The inner layer of this couple’s vibrator features a pulsating platelet designed to stimulate the (ahem) hot dog inside. And the outer shell offers buzzy vibrations, which your partner can press themselves against while mounting you. If this sounds as close to a guaranteed simultaneous O as you’re gonna get, you’re absolutely right.

  “One of the most common reactions to the thought of using sex toys if you haven’t before is, ‘Oh, those aren’t for me.’ At least, that’s the initial thought I had before I owned a vibrator and lubricant,” said Polly Rodriguez, now CEO and co-founder of her own sex toy company, Unbound. (Note: We’re mostly focusing on heterosexual women and couples here because TENGA’s survey and the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior conducted by Indiana University both suggest LGBTQ folks — especially those with labias — are way ahead of the curve, disproportionately making up the demographic already participating in the sex toy revolution. In this rare case, the straights need more help getting past a heteronormative shame. For LGBTQ folks looking for advice, both Unbound's and Dame’s blogs publish fantastic LGBTQ-focused guides.) Mashable Image The Crescendo is designed to fit a variety of bodies and sexual orientations. Scroll to the end for a full review. Credit: Mashable Composite: Mystery Vibe / Bob Al-Greene / Mashable As it turns out, despite years of slut walks and the anti-slut-shaming movement, the fear of being categorized as a hypersexual woman still rears its head. But not wanting to be one of “those” women who “needs” a sex toy goes even deeper than that.

  It comes back to the historied, outdated (not to mention heteronormative) belief that women’s pleasure should only come from a man, and that her sexual awakening should happen with him during intercourse. “It’s like, if I have to use this technology to get off, it feels like I’ve failed as a woman,” Lieberman explained. The focus on the phallus as a more “natural” form of female pleasure is why dildos that mimic the male anatomy were such a central focus of the sex toy industry for so long, despite the fact that many other types of toys — like those for clitoral stimulation — were found to be more satisfying to more women. Some of women’s sex toy shame can be blamed on Freud, Kerner said. He incorrectly theorized that clitoral orgasms were an immature state of a woman’s sexual development, with properly functioning females eventually maturing into vaginal orgasms. “He never described how this would happen,” said Kerner. “But there’s still this idea that somehow clitoral orgasms aren’t ‘real’ orgasms.” "If I have to use this technology to get off, it feels like I’ve failed as a woman.” Meanwhile, research suggests 37 percent of people with vaginas need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, while only 18 percent said penetration alone was enough. Yet the unrealistic ideals of what women’s pleasure should look like persists, despite being incompatible with how most people with vaginas reach climax.

  “What I hear from some women is that introducing a vibrator into sex is an indirect admission that something is wrong, that the intercourse isn’t working. And rather than thinking, ‘Well, there’s probably a good reason for why it isn’t working for me,’ they instead internalize that as feeling sort of broken or defective,” said Kerner. “So you have a lot of women coming in and asking, ‘What's wrong with me? Why can't I get off the normal way?” This unconscious fear is closely tied to another common myth around sex toys: that they’ll replace human (presumably male) partners who can’t satisfy women as well as the technology. SEE ALSO: Why did Tinder make a show about the apocalypse? We drank margaritas and found out. Who can forget the Sex in the City episode when Charlotte needs a “Rabbit intervention” so she can stop getting off so much to her vibrator and go back to being in a real relationship. Lieberman even pointed to this trope being in one of the earliest Greek plays, Lysistrata, where women threaten to replace the men at war with dildos.

  In the modern age, the fear that women will become so addicted to toys manifests in memes comparing sex toys to partners, or even Cardi B in Hustlers boasting that her pink vibrator is the best and only boyfriend she will ever need. Mashable Image The Fin is a life-changing partnered sex vibrator. Scroll to the end for a full review. Credit: Mashable Composite: Dame / Bob Al-Greene / Mashable Women in heterosexual relationships still often worry that asking to introduce a vibrator or toy into the bedroom will make their partner feel emasculated. In his work with couples, though, Kerner has never found this to be the case, with “most men seeming very receptive to wanting to create experiences that are mutually pleasurable.” If that’s a particular worry, though, partnered sex toys can alleviate the stress of making it about your pleasure alone.

Realistic Penis Extender

  The highly-rated (and also woman co-founded) Crescendo from MysteryVibe is ideal for beginners looking for versatility, designed for solo or partnered play, various positions, and various bodies and sexual orientations, too. For me, something as ingeniously simple, unintimidating, and Intuitive as Dame’s Fin was nothing short of revolutionary, leading to my first simultaneous orgasm with a partner ever. “The new wave of sex toys have opened people up to the idea that toys and masturbation are not in opposition to a relationship. It’s not one or the other. Women don’t have a limited amount of sexual energy,” said Lieberman. Still, the myth of sex toy “addiction” or that vibrators cause permanent desensitization or make it impossible to cum any other way persists. Luckily, there is zero empirical evidence to support these concerns. "Women don’t have a limited amount of sexual energy.” What’s funny, Lieberman noted, is that concerns over vibrators being addictive only started in the 1930s, once sex toys began being openly sold in markets rather than controlled by doctors. That’s when the concept of “dildo attachment” came into the conversation, which claimed to make women stop wanting sex with their husbands.

  At worst, Kerner said, vigorous habitual use of a sex toy can simply cause over-familiarity with that specific intense sensation that can’t be replicated by a person. But that’s no different than men who develop difficulty climaxing during intercourse because they masturbate with a very tight grip that can’t be replicated during penetration. Both are easily fixed with a simple break. “Just stop using it for a few days. It’s not heroin. You can put it to the side, and use your hand or go manual with your partner, and it will return to being just as pleasurable,” said Lieberman. One legitimate health concern, however, relates to the type of material used for sex toys. Rodriguez emphasized the importance of medical-grade rather than food-grade silicone, since they often go inside the most absorbent parts of your body. Be very wary of buying anything on Amazon, which often sells knock offs. On the other hand (pun intended), what more masturbation can do is actually improve your capacity to orgasm in general, and give you the space to learn exactly what kind of touch and sensations you like, which you can then communicate to your partner. But outside of its benefits in partnered sex, the power of sex toys is about rediscovering what pleasure means and feels like to you alone. Mashable Image Vibe is one of the cheapest, most beloved beginner toys. Scroll to the end for a full review. Credit: Mashable Composite: Maude / Bob Al-Greene / MASHABLE “I think masturbation is one of the healthiest things we can do when it comes to understanding and appreciating our bodies. For me, and for many in our community, self-pleasure helps us reclaim our bodies for ourselves,” said Rodriguez.

  At 21, she underwent menopause after a cancer diagnosis and dealt with feeling estranged from her body. “For many who experience trauma, it can be a truly healing process to redefine your sexuality for yourself.” Another more practical concern for first-time sex toy buyers, found in both the TENGA survey and Unbound’s own community survey, was price. Quality toys can be an investment, and the sheer variety of different types, sensations, and textures can feel paralyzing when you have no reference point for what you like. That’s why the best first toys are reasonably priced, straightforward, and versatile (scroll to the bottom for our best recommendations). People with labias often find the most success when starting with clitoral stimulators like bullets or lipstick vibes. Unbound has a quarterly, affordable subscription box designed for newbies trying to expand their erotic repertoire.

Electro Pussy Torture

  One revolutionary policy Dame made in order to help get over this barrier to entry goes radically against a key industry-standard: They accept returns. (Unbound accepts partial returns for used toys). “First of all, be proud of yourself for buying the toy.” Their policy changed after CEO Alexandra Fine and her co-founder reevaluated the reasons behind this industry standard, which claims that returns are unhygienic. But the more they thought about it, it became clear that other companies accepted returns despite their product being unhygienic to resell, like Casper mattresses and Thinx panties. “What that kind of policy is almost saying is, ‘Hey, your vagina is disgusting. Obviously, we can’t take returns.’ That in itself has shame built into it, and is counter to us creating a shame-free experience,” said Fine. “We want you to feel comfortable letting us know that something didn't work for you. Then, we can help you find something that does.” Still, even when we can get over all those initial walls of shame and finally buy a sex toy, it’s very normal to then face a whole other wave of shame while actually using it. But there are lots of ways to get past that, too.

  “First of all, be proud of yourself for buying the toy,” said Lieberman. “Then, accept that your first few experiences may be awkward. I mean, what was your first experience of sex with another person like? You don’t know what you’re doing. It's a new technology that you're learning. It could even feel weird at first if you've never had something vibrating on your genitals. That's OK, too.” Try everything alone first, and on the lowest power setting first — possibly even over your panties or even a towel for clitoral stimulators. People vary on level of sensitivity. Mashable Image Vesper's a gorgeous necklace/vibrator confronts the sex toy taboo head-on. Scroll to end for a full review. Credit: Mashable Composite: Crave / Bob Al-Greene / MASHABLE Overall, one of the best pieces of advice I ever got while joining the sex toy revolution is to treat each new toy like a new sexual partner. Give yourself time to learn how it fits your body, or whether it’s a good match at all. View your early experiences as exploratory rather than setting the expectation to cum, which puts undue pressure on you and your new friend. And honestly, unless you’ve purchased from one of these new women, femme, and non-binary-led sex toy makers, do your best to ignore the marketing and promises on the packaging. Often, you’ll find images of scantily clad women that project a false picture of what masturbation looks like. In reality, it looks more like you in pajamas and a face mask.

  Even more importantly, do not believe in the promises of an instantaneous, guaranteed, melt-your-face off orgasm. Again, every body is different, and it’s normal for something that works for most to not work for you. If you’re confused about how to use it (since many manuals are woefully lacking), educate yourself online with reviews that paint more vivid pictures. Many of the companies that are revolutionizing sex toys also provide well-written blogs and step-by-step guides for their toys. "Me Too let people — especially women — feel more comfortable expressing their need, their demand for sexual pleasure." Underlying the new sex toy revolution is a movement that believes pleasure and satisfaction should be a human right. Closely tied to that movement is another one that started in 2017, which finally allowed women to start talking about the ways sex made them feel ashamed, traumatized, and silenced. “The rise of talking about sexual assault from Me Too let people — especially women — feel more comfortable expressing their need, their demand for sexual pleasure,” said Lieberman. It’s deeply unsettling (perhaps even related) that, in the midst of this sexual wellness revolution, we’re seeing a vicious legal backlash trying to strip women of basic rights over their own bodies. Whether it’s challenges to Roe v. Wade, other increasingly restrictive abortion laws, or less access to birth control, “at the bottom of it all is people preventing women from having sex without consequence. It’s the belief that sexual pleasure isn't good in and of itself for women unless it’s to procreate,” said Lieberman.

GFLASHY.COM GFLASHY.COM Reviewed by Mare on August 21, 2022 Rating: 5

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